I'm tired of being tired

I can't go to sleep. After staying up until a certain time by myself I don't want to go to sleep. I hate it. I feel exhausted the next day. But I'm uncomfortable turning in at this point. I'm tired.

not so wasted

After a looong time of just sitting around and not really paying attention to deadlines and the whole admissions process I gathered up some nerve as well as some energy to sit down and dedicate some time in researching schools.

It comes in waves. There are times I'm pretty hopeful that things will work out and though it may not be in my own timing, I feel a sense of peace. Then, of course there are other times, majority of the time where I am drowned in doubts, concerns and panic.

At least I did something today. Small steps is better than none right? Hopefully those steps are in the right directions.

I'm sorry I haven't called. There's no excuse, though that's what I seem to be using all the time now; excuses. I miss you terribly. I saw pictures of you guys and it reminded me of how much I missed out on everything there. Can we plan to see each other sometime soon?