Have you ever stopped and looked at your life, or even a moment in a third person's perspective to take a step back and reevaluate things? In those good moments, to realize the pains of the world, those suffering around you. In midst of those crappy bad days/moments and realize the simplicity of life and how great God is? We get easily caught up in a good sale, long savory conversations, meeting someone you haven't seen in a long time and doing something exciting, but all of the sudden the beggar off the highway on your way back from lunch seems to hit a sour note. The family of seven having dinner at McDonalds, stunts your high. After a week's worth of not being able to add the classes you want and constant drives back and forth with frustration on the rise, that song on the radio gives you a boost. Getting a call from a long distance friend makes the day just a little more bearable.
I've recently re-learned that I should always be on aware, aware of my situation, of the moment, of the people around me, where I am, how much I have, how much I don't have. This really contradicts the "live in the moment", "live life to its fullest" it counters the thought that in doing this I haven't found a way to balance awareness.
Why is saying sorry and admitting that you're wrong so difficult? Why does "I'm ready" take so long? Why is the first step seem like leaping across a cliff? How come "hey can I talk to you about something I've been struggling through" seem impossible? Why are we so afraid to be vulnerable?
A quote that keeps coming to the forefront : "If someone prays for patience, you think God gives them patience? Or does he give them the opportunity to be patient? If he prayed for courage, does God give him courage, or does he give him opportunities to be courageous? If someone prayed for the family to be closer, do you think God zaps them with warm fuzzy feelings, or does he give them opportunities to love each other? " (Evan Almighty)
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Sunday, August 23, 2009
crooked simplicity..sometimes
Yes, I ate something gooey and chocolatey and caloric with bananas and whip cream at midnight.. hey you've only got one life right?
satisfying your craving like spot one is definitely added to the list from the previous post
now that, that's done
school starts in 48 hours and I can't believe I've been jipped a month. But really, I'm kind of excited...honestly this summer has been a bore. Bumming around, eating out, meeting up, hanging loose, chowing down, driving around, cruisin' town really hasn't helped me nor the environment. Although I did sign up for a gym membership, but really haven't made full use of it. Oh and I'm unemployed.
I should have written out goals for the summer, they were in my head, but that really doesn't say much.
Something that crossed my mind recently (actually a lot of stuff have crossed my mind this summer) is that new years isn't really the only day that starts off a new year (or really the realization that a year has passed..) The end of school, beginning of school, deaths, graduations, promotions. Only the first two really have applied to me. Of course another reminder are annual celebrations such as birthdays.
With my birthday in less than a month, I realized that a year has passed and I've been thinking about the coming year. So I've been kind of reflective about my past year, and all in all a lot has happened. It's been a hard year, maybe the most difficult. More will come probably on a post closer to my actual birthday.
Besides that, as I was driving home (close to midnight, with music and the windows down--the weather was oddly nice tonight) I passed a fed-ex store, and I realized that it would be neat to be mail. Because the concept of mail is two ways. Someone sends something in which the other person is waiting to receive and probably pertains to something important, there's a message, there's a wait, and finally it makes its final destination--wherever that may be. Anyway, I love travel and thought that's another option..to be mail.
I thought about this because it's another possible answer to those questions about "if you could be anything what would you be?" there's probably a list in my head for that too, but being mail is an option, that's all I'm saying.
satisfying your craving like spot one is definitely added to the list from the previous post
now that, that's done
school starts in 48 hours and I can't believe I've been jipped a month. But really, I'm kind of excited...honestly this summer has been a bore. Bumming around, eating out, meeting up, hanging loose, chowing down, driving around, cruisin' town really hasn't helped me nor the environment. Although I did sign up for a gym membership, but really haven't made full use of it. Oh and I'm unemployed.
I should have written out goals for the summer, they were in my head, but that really doesn't say much.
Something that crossed my mind recently (actually a lot of stuff have crossed my mind this summer) is that new years isn't really the only day that starts off a new year (or really the realization that a year has passed..) The end of school, beginning of school, deaths, graduations, promotions. Only the first two really have applied to me. Of course another reminder are annual celebrations such as birthdays.
With my birthday in less than a month, I realized that a year has passed and I've been thinking about the coming year. So I've been kind of reflective about my past year, and all in all a lot has happened. It's been a hard year, maybe the most difficult. More will come probably on a post closer to my actual birthday.
Besides that, as I was driving home (close to midnight, with music and the windows down--the weather was oddly nice tonight) I passed a fed-ex store, and I realized that it would be neat to be mail. Because the concept of mail is two ways. Someone sends something in which the other person is waiting to receive and probably pertains to something important, there's a message, there's a wait, and finally it makes its final destination--wherever that may be. Anyway, I love travel and thought that's another option..to be mail.
I thought about this because it's another possible answer to those questions about "if you could be anything what would you be?" there's probably a list in my head for that too, but being mail is an option, that's all I'm saying.
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
the simple things
a list of some of my favorite things/things that make me happy
-listening to jazz on the radio while driving at night
-taking a nice hot shower after crawling out of a cold bed
-eating something really really good and bringing someone the next time to show them too
-nature/scenery
-doing a puzzle--it's actually very calming
-learning something interesting (statistics, human psychology, trivia, operating a circus..etc)
-family dinners
-watching people that are happy (especially children, something innocent about them)
-a flattering compliment (particularly by someone you don't know--not in a creepy way)
-watching the stars and realizing that we're so minuscule and finite
-being encouraged
-creativity
-being in a new place (traveling)
-doing something spontaneous and it being successful
-camping
-failing at something but not being alone
-watching a good movie/reading a good book
-thinking back on positive memories
-hope
*I want to edit this if I think of other things
**many of these things can be accentuated when accompanied by someone special
-listening to jazz on the radio while driving at night
-taking a nice hot shower after crawling out of a cold bed
-eating something really really good and bringing someone the next time to show them too
-nature/scenery
-doing a puzzle--it's actually very calming
-learning something interesting (statistics, human psychology, trivia, operating a circus..etc)
-family dinners
-watching people that are happy (especially children, something innocent about them)
-a flattering compliment (particularly by someone you don't know--not in a creepy way)
-watching the stars and realizing that we're so minuscule and finite
-being encouraged
-creativity
-being in a new place (traveling)
-doing something spontaneous and it being successful
-camping
-failing at something but not being alone
-watching a good movie/reading a good book
-thinking back on positive memories
-hope
*I want to edit this if I think of other things
**many of these things can be accentuated when accompanied by someone special
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
ignorance vs. avoidance
You're walking down the street, shopping at the local grocery store, or eating at a restaurant and you spot a familiar face, sometimes we remember where we've met them, and other times we can't quite place where it was we've seen them. Nonetheless, you might make eye contact you might not and neither of you take any action. You wouldn't dare to smile more or less wave, nor would the other.
I always think that I notice people I've come across whether you met them briefly in line for Starbucks, or that person in lecture with the green back pack, than they would of me. I like to say that I'm observant or others sometimes put label it as stalking, having nothing else to do but notice the small things. But talking with some people, it seems that most people feel the same way.
Ignorance is bliss, I believe so. What you don't know doesn't hurt you. When we notice that person walking towards you sometimes they know you and other times they don't either way the response is the same. But the causation of that response is different. Ignorance vs avoidance. Ignorance arises from our subconscious, avoidance however is more tactical, it's preconceived.
I have to admit that even though that person and I have already unfortunately made eye contact, that the reason for my response is avoidance. Why is that? Why do we treat the world as a place full of strangers? Why is it weird for a man to pass by your group of friends and say "hello ladies" without perceiving as a perverted gesture? We have become too individualized, too self absorbed, self dependent, and blinded.
Too many napkins, notecards, scraps of paper, and thoughts have been lost or escaped, I'm hoping that the internet will last beyond my life time and the things I experience and thoughts I have will be branded here. Because clicking a button "forgot password" is easier and less messy than trying to find the bloody key you lost to unlock your diary.
I always think that I notice people I've come across whether you met them briefly in line for Starbucks, or that person in lecture with the green back pack, than they would of me. I like to say that I'm observant or others sometimes put label it as stalking, having nothing else to do but notice the small things. But talking with some people, it seems that most people feel the same way.
Ignorance is bliss, I believe so. What you don't know doesn't hurt you. When we notice that person walking towards you sometimes they know you and other times they don't either way the response is the same. But the causation of that response is different. Ignorance vs avoidance. Ignorance arises from our subconscious, avoidance however is more tactical, it's preconceived.
I have to admit that even though that person and I have already unfortunately made eye contact, that the reason for my response is avoidance. Why is that? Why do we treat the world as a place full of strangers? Why is it weird for a man to pass by your group of friends and say "hello ladies" without perceiving as a perverted gesture? We have become too individualized, too self absorbed, self dependent, and blinded.
Too many napkins, notecards, scraps of paper, and thoughts have been lost or escaped, I'm hoping that the internet will last beyond my life time and the things I experience and thoughts I have will be branded here. Because clicking a button "forgot password" is easier and less messy than trying to find the bloody key you lost to unlock your diary.
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