what is the word?!

On the John Tesh radio show, he announced that New York has the largest number of singles 3.8 million; half the population of New York and the whole population of Chicago. In my previous post, I randomly wondered what the statistics was..although the answer doesn't cover the question in its entirety, it got answered. This is what I talk about when, you think of something and randomly out of nowhere the world and you have telepathy. It's hard to explain.. but it's been happening a lot lately... Either way your best luck of meeting some singles would be in New York, given that 1 out of every 2 people are single.

I had a weird dream last night too, water means you're in a deep part of your sleep right? So what does cupcakes, bracing another passenger's arm, sleeping outside in the living as a guest, and witnessing a couple break up/hook up all mean?--yes, this was all part of one night's dream

I know, it's really only been about 5 months since I ended my college years, but I miss it already. I can't imagine how being 30 must feel. I miss running through sprinklers, spending all of summer being dark like burnt steak from swimming too much, I miss how cool it was to eat the character popsicles from ice cream trucks, I miss collecting random stickers and coloring your nails with crayons. I miss staying up late because family friends were over past bedtime. I miss learning how to ride a bike. I miss my past camping trips and family road trips to really awesome places. I miss having a bare face. haha I even miss my crazed permed hair in 5th grade. I miss those cool people. I miss lockers and school buses. I miss gym uniforms and lunges.I miss going to football games and not knowing the score. I miss feeling anxious for dances and awkward with crushes. I miss late nights and eating nachos. I miss afternoons spent listening to Spice Girls and Aqua. I miss getting to dress up and going trick or treating. I miss playing hair salon and bleaching my cousin's hair with toothpaste. I miss fighting with my brother and staring at green shaggy carpet. I miss messing with my brother and taking pictures of it. I miss all those cool times at Disneyland that were spent on random weekends. It's different to go back now... I miss chalkboards and glasses. I miss family dinners.

I don't think I have any regrets about my life thus far. I do believe there are better/easier choices that could have been made. However, looking back on it life was pretty sweet, kind of.

Why is this important? It's not... my mind has glitches

I've been having rather odd, disturbing dreams lately... and my eyes hurt like they're bruised.

Some quick thoughts that I'll come back to later:

Today I wondered what the statistics are for single, unmarried people pass the age of 35. Hopefully I'll have an answer in the near future. I wonder how many people remain single (really unmarried) for the majority of their lives. When you sit in a large crowd (i.e. lecture, church, movie) I wonder if you can tell about how many people are currently in a relationship or single.

I realized that I have too much pride. Here I am, thinking that I'm pretty humble, selfless, take a moment in the day to reflect, able to appreciate simplicity, somewhat live in the moment, and yet I'm pretty stubborn.

I wonder if I cross your mind sometimes. I think about you time to time, randomly. I wonder how you're doing, and think about how the problems resolved. I imagine how you've moved on, and what new experiences and memories have occurred while I wasn't there. If only time stood still and we could have enjoyed ourselves more. If only things remained the same, you and I. It's not a passing thought. I don't just briefly remember a name to a face. I take that moment to wonder about these things and reminisce our past memories. I think about you time to time, wondering what it is you are doing now, without me. You're on my mind, I haven't forgot you, I wish you are doing the same.

Shake your money maker

I don't like transitions, I wish I could fast forward this part. I need a change of pace. Being caught up in the same routine is not good.

How finite that our world revolves around money. Stinky darn green piece of paper. The truth is wealth is power...isn't it? Some people are just plain bloody rich. Were they blessed? Maybe so... Was it hard work? Born into it? Inherited? Lottery? (My best chance)

I thought about this a while ago, but it seems relevant to bring up. I thought about how there are some industries in our world that are booming, but really it's a complete waste. Think about the fashion industry. They're freakin' clothes people! Sometimes people are ants. They are ants when you're in the Sears Tower looking down at the people on the sidewalks. I have this image that we're so small really.. compared to the world and I imagine someone from another planet looking at Earth and saying "how dumb are these people to spend so much money on a piece of cloth?" Why is the fashion industry such a proliferating one? Makeup...in the current age...complete waste. There's no depth to it. At least back when eyebrows were drawn with charcoal, there was an aesthetic value to it. There's so much money spent on enhancing our appearance. Who freaking spends $75 on a Dior concealer?! (disgusting) The entertainment industry to an extent is a complete waste, nowadays. Why are songs like "In da Club" part of a platinum album?! Why is there still a SAW IX? What's up with the name brands?! Marketplace water is just as good as tap water! Gucci and Coach are overpriced. Hummers and beamers.. what's the difference they end up in the junk yard anyway. Really you just need something to take you from point A to point B right? Why have we fixed our eyes towards this? Why do these things have so much power?

What does living with minimum really look like?

There's always an enough. Spend wisely, and have a balance.

Let's reevaluate what's important...really. Take a reality check and see where you are. Do you really need another pair of black heels? Will falsies really open up your eyes? Challenge yourself to live minimally.

Note: I'm not excusing myself from being a victim of this.

I wish I had a money maker that I could shake

Ooo baby watch out now

i got the doughnuts..let me just say the dozen didn't outlast an hour

maybe i should reconsider canceling my gym membership.....nah

Prince of Belair

I should be studying...or sleeping to study tomorrow...oh well... instead I decided to do a post.

Ahem. The whole: put up a front, let's see who wins, I'm stronger than you, I can hold out longer, I don't need the system, I can beat rules, I do it my own way or the highway deal is really a failure. I know I wrote a previous post about a House episode and how often times trying to beat the system is really short-lived. Man, so should I give in? What about my face? my pride? argh... But really, nothing good came out of it. I'm sure it all backfired and we're all doing a bit of suffering (or at least I hope so)

What am I feeling right now... I don't know really.. I want to do it over again. I feel stale, like a bread or cereal that's been out too long. (sigh) Where does life take me from here? How cool would it be to take a brief peek into your future.

I gots me no drama, I'm a pretty drama free man. I need some drama.

I feel like doing random bounces on one of those yoga balls.

I need to cancel my gym membership.

I need a source of income..or find my sugar daddy

I've been eating bad lately...

My teeth are getting more and more crooked (although I've always wanted braces, it might not be such a fashion statement in you're 30's)

Let's get inspired

I want a new start. Plop me down somewhere else and give me a different name. Let's start over.

I didn't buy the doughnuts...

Doughnuts or Donuts?

This is a topic that I wanted to cover eventually, but it came up today so I'm make some comments on it. Actually I don't know the right term for it, it there even is one, but I'll try to explain it, and hopefully you'll get the jist.

You know those times where you've been thinking about something for a like a whole day (usually something that's not always up in the fore front) and all of the sudden it pops up? For instance, you're singing a song in your head (probably an old tune), and all of the sudden someone around you starts singing aloud or the radio plays the same tune. Or in the case of today, I was thinking about doughnuts. Krispy Kremes in particular, and about how I would like to buy some for my classmates tomorrow. (Thursday is a long day...you need some stimulation) The last time I ever had Krispy Kremes has been a while, but this week, someone in class was talking about how she was craving it, and I thought it would be nice to bring some in. And well what do you know? There was an article on Yahoo about it. It was something in the lines of how Krispy Kreme started off well, but now it's doing terrible. I guess for the lack of category this is somewhat similar to Karma? How one thing effects another (what is this called?!) Another example is how you haven't talked to someone in a long time, but all of the sudden you get a random call. There's probably more examples. Ooo like someone brings home something you wanted to eat like.. spring rolls or something that's not so common. Or for some reason you've been thinking about a name like Gustav or something and it just pops up in an article or something. Heh, it's just weird how things work, and I'm pretty fascinated by this unique phenomenon. It's almost like we have telepathy with the world somehow...

On a side note: Have you ever picked at your belly button? WHAT is that stuff?! How does dust and things like that get trapped in there to create this gray gunk?? That maybe the least uncleaned/unwashed part of one's body. Do you have to like Q-tip it after a shower? ugh.. I'm weirded out but this phenomenon, but not in such a positive aspect as mentioned above.

Here's the article: http://finance.yahoo.com/news/The-Tragedy-of-Krispy-minyanville-220090191.html?x=0&.v=2

Wait, so what does this mean? I shouldn't get doughnuts because I'll just be a suck up to the class, and win a friendship? Because it's super unhealthy and I really shouldn't be spending money on food, let alone glazed doughnuts? Because after reading, okay skimming, the article Krispy Kreme is doing bad and I should do them a favor? Because I SHOULD in fact buy this delectable treat? Oh man the dilemma!

Deep in the Night, I've been looking for Someone

There comes a time late in the night where I don't feel like sleeping anymore. If I stay awake past a certain hour, I continue to stay awake. I've learned that this is not healthy and does not help my next day. However, tonight, the musical pitter patter on concrete, and the company of sunrise makes it not so bad.

I miss greenery. I miss brick walls and intricate architecture. I miss hearing the history behind a certain location or landmark. I miss the loop. I miss shivering and watching your breath as you exhale while you wait for the crosswalk. I miss how welcoming entering a warm house is. mmm..I miss it all...

Algunos Pensamientos

I'm pooped I think I'm getting sick again. School is definitely overwhelming and I'm at a point of exhaustion. Whew.

On a side note, wouldn't it be cool when you sneezed you like moved away from your spot? like a jet pack? hmmm that's interesting...

I'm really unmotivated to be in school right now. I calculated how many more times I can fill up on gas before I officially hit 0. I like to learn, but the amount of things we need to regurgitate back on a white piece of paper is ridiculous.

Today was pretty adventurous. We ended up going to a random restaurant and it turned out great because they had live singing aka karaoke. There were some interesting art work. There was a park ranger involved somewhere along the day. And we saw some pretty exotic animals. I would love more days like these. (semi-planned but opened to unexpected turns)

I wonder if people think about you. Like even years, and years down. It's pretty flattering I think. I think about people all the time (people from grade school or even just some random stranger you chatted with at a bookstore or something) and wonder if they think about me, or have like forgotten who I was. Or even on campus, and you walk past someone and think, "mm yea I think his/her style" or "oh he/she smells good" or "man you're hawt!" or "oo you need some new shoes" or...well this could go on forever, but nonetheless if others are thinking the same thing about you, or even just thinking about you somewhere, sometime. Would reading people's mind be a power you'd want?

Once you've hit rock bottom you can only go up. It's NOT the end of the world, seriously, think about how your situation COULD really be the "end of the world".

I'm knocking out with Nyquil, (sigh) ready for the new week? I'm not quite sure, I'll try to be.

oh man autumn is one of my favorite seasons! there's already pumpkin patches starting to pop up with those bales of hay and plaid scarecrows, msn and yahoo have fall recipes and articles about where to go see the best foliage, and soon there will be turkey recipes on food network, and halloween cookie ideas and those 25 days of Christmas playing on ABC, and ELF will probably be on some channel or played again as an airplane movie for the holidays....oooo!!!!

I'm pretty excited for the rest of 2009 or what's left of it. Good things to come only right? 2009 is almost over (woot!) you've got thanksgiving (shall I attempt a turkey this year?) and Christmas (need to start stocking my car with Christmas music, or just turn to KOST!) and new years. I don't get excited for Christmas every year. It's like almost every other year or something like that. There was one Christmas I sang carols until March. Last year, I wasn't too excited....but it's back! This year, I'm pretty pumped. I want to see some snow-age!


















you can almost here the crunch

if you're happy and you know it clap your hands

Haha... honestly, I don't know why, but I feel good. Like really really good. I can't help smile, and I don't know where it's coming from and to say the least I really don't care for its origins. The fact is the now. No, things haven't changed, and maybe they have or they will take a turn for the worse, but right now in this moment I'm enjoying it. Is this the feeling of being high? I could only imagine so. I'm scared of how quickly this moment will fade, and how much longer I have until another bitter ranting post. I mustn't think of this, and just enjoy it. I hope that I can meet someone that can make me this happy. Although I can do it myself, it's such a rarity and who wouldn't want more of this?

I'm adding onto my list of things that make me happy

-clouds, not a cloudy day, but a day like today where it's clear blue skies filled with blankets of clouds and the sun setting, those kinds of clouds
-genuine: when someone goes out of their way and becomes selfless, they make a sacrifice for your sake, how completely flattering.
-being in the moment and forgetting: when someone or something has the power to make you forget about your worst situation or your bitterness and become absorbed in what you're doing right then

mm i was going to mention something about childhood beliefs but i'll leave that for next time

Goodbye and Hello

Things are still pretty much the same more or less. I still have no job. Class work is ridiculous, in fact I just got out of a four hour lecture. I'm no where near drawing conclusions. Still, nothing is put together. The black gunk is still there, the towels are still ruined, the walls haven't been painted. BUT, I feel good.

I feel good. I don't know if I'm happy, but I just feel good. I'm smiling and just enjoying the moment, and thinking nothing more. I feel invincible. Right now, I'm not angry at anyone. I don't think life's unfair. I haven't thought about tomorrow, or next month's gas. I haven't thought about up coming birthdays, or who I've been out of touch with. No one really made me feel good, I did it by myself.

However, I do know one thing for sure. I've closed a chapter. I'm starting a new one. Problems are going to carry over and the situation I'm in, isn't really going to change, but I'm starting a new one. There are some things that aren't going to carry over. Things that will end in that chapter. Some people will not be carried over. Things that I associate myself with will change. My outlook will change. I will carry over what I've experienced and hopefully apply to this chapter. I want more growth out of this chapter. I want a new set of problems. I want new experiences and situations. I want to be challenged. I want to be more active. I want to reach out. I want to move on. I got tired of doing the same thing day in and day out. I tired of seeing the same people, and going to the same places. I got relentless of the same routine. Eventually that tiredness turned to exhaustion and I needed a break. I'm not completely back, but I'm making my return.

I'm saying my goodbyes to UCI thank you for my college degree. I'm saying bye to the three years spent in the edge. I'm saying goodbyes to some people, thanks for the memories. Adieu wants and times of loneliness. Farewell to struggles and frustration. Goodbye to fallen tears, and a bruised heart. Au revoir

Hello to the unwritten, unexpected plans. Hello to encounters and new acquaintances I hope we can be friends. Greetings experiences and obstacles, I hope I grow from you. Welcome new memories and laughs. Hello to new tears, and scarred heart.

On a side note, I love fall. The season has so much warmth and colors. I'm anxious and excited to start my new chapter in such a beautiful season.