Friday, November 26, 2010

I'm thankful for my worth and yours.

It's been a while since I've done a post. There have been times where I wanted to write about something but then I'd open up a blank post and the white empty screen that stared back overpowered me. Things just sounded boring. Then I remembered that this isn't about creativity, nor fulfilling someone's expectations, it's for me.

I finished watching a documentary called The Bridge and it is about people who commit suicide off the Golden Gate Bridge. It is said that on average one person dies every 15 days. In 2004, 24 people jumped and died. It's such a juxtaposition to the tourists, locals, and children that have glorified the structure.

Many people who died that year felt the same way: they felt no worth, and felt a constant discord throughout their life. A jumper gave his last effort of comfort to his family by saying "Just know that I'm in peace now.."

What makes the difference from one person to another when we all live in the same world, confined by the same rules and obligations, and the little variance we have in the choices we make. How far is the gap between me and Gene Sprague that determines why I live and he died? I have felt the same things too. I know it's not that I was stronger than he was. We all struggle with acceptance, wanting to be loved, happiness, and self-worth. But at the end of the day, what is that made me stay here and for him to jump?

We think we've got it bad. We try to create a greater distance between you and the person who's "got everything" We see a big jump from the poor and the rich. In reality though, I think it's not that big of a distance at all. In fact, we deal with the same family, personal, possibly financial issues. We seem to hide behind the labels and fill into our expected roles, when really we're not so different you and I. Things seem to be so far away from us: attaining a degree, not being single, money, getting that lsat score, love, a job. It's not. It's actually a lot closer than you think.

This Thanksgiving, aside from being grateful for my friends, family, and situation. I'm thankful for my life and everything in it; good and bad. Your life is worth a lot. To me, to you, to your family, and to God.

In the documentary, one passing photographer actually pulled a potential jumper off the ledge she was standing on. Is there really a price tag you can put on a human life? At the end of the day, no matter how much money you have what status and labels you have next to your name we're all connected. We live, breathe and eat. We work, we make relationships, we impact, we care, we cry, we love, we hurt, we laugh, and then yea, we die.

We're not so different you and I...