maybe we're not so cool as we thought

I'm a sucker for good endings. There are many times in our lives where we try to fight the system, complain and be frustrated with our wrongs. We try to find loopholes and take the easy way out and refuse to give in. We want to find our way or doing things instead of following the paved path. We think we're better. We think we can do it on our own.

What does this notion of complete surrender mean? Just declaring it? Journaling it? Making promises and goals? To me, complete surrender is realizing that there's no better way. It's a defeat. Defeat to your own stubborn ways. It's submission. It's understanding that we can't do it on our own. It's understanding that defying systems and organization won't work out for the better. It is realizing that doing things my way, is lonely.

I got inspiration from one of my revered TV series, House (I'm looking forward to this season). House is stuck in a situation where initially, he spends days devising plans to leave the psychiatric institution he's been unwilling placed in. He is soon defeated and succumbs to the systems of the psychiatric center and learns that this is in fact the better route. Some people see it as a complete failure. Failure to stand up to your own beliefs and stick it out and try and cheat the system, like one of the characters in the episode. However, in the end, even he givens in and realizes that maybe that's the only way out.

My other question is: why does it take us so long to realize that our way will not work? I think humans have the natural instinct to be individualist. We want to be a trend setter and not jump on the bandwagon. We have to stand out among the crowd rather than blend in. We want to be the rebel. We want to set the norm for others to follow, but when you realize that no one is actually following, or that people are giving you weird looks, we smile a sheepishly and return to the group. We want acceptance.

I want to try complete surrender. I want to give up control. I want to be relieved. I don't want to be anxious. I want to take things for what it's worth. I want obedience.