Life is in a shit hole lately, and it doesn't seem to be getting better. I wish emotions would have an on and off switch. I wish we could control how we felt and when we felt them. I wish I didn't feel anything right now "off". I just want to breathe and blink and nod when people ask me something.
However crummy the situation is, don't give up. Don't give in. even if you want to kill yourself; don't. suffer go through it, endure. In life there are choices. There are easy choices and hard choices. I'm going to choose the hard one today.
I'm still bitter. Bitter about my life the situation I happen to be given, the lack of options I have. Like a kid I want to kick and scream, throw a tantrum on the floor and pull someone's hair. I want to curse and spit in someone's face. This is a choice. Move on, do better, go through the pain, discipline, trust, forgiveness, understand, yield, grace. This is another choice.
I'm going to choose to move on, and just make it, however. Life is what you make of it. You want a bad day, you can have a shit day. You want to have a great day, you make it a great day. You go and stuff yourself with your favorite ice cream and jump around in circles even if you don't feel like it. You watch the office and you chuckle. You turn your music up and fill the space with your favorite song and you sing on top of your lungs. You make funny faces in front of the mirror and laugh at yourself. Don't be selfish and think you're situation is the worst. Take pleasure in the small things. You do what you can you keep you sane. You go through this and you survive.
No you do have control of your emotions. I'm turning it "on".
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