and with what little remains...

As I write this post, I cannot tell you how we're going to make the next couple of months. As of today, my accounts can cover a another half a tank of gas. As I write today, my mother has taken full financial responsibility and I cannot help but inevitably worry.

And with what little faith I have, I dearly pray for a miracle. 

Lord, you know my heart, my struggles, and every single tear that falls. I am deathfully worried, and hopelessly cling onto you. Not necessarily because of my over abundant faith, but mostly in pure fear. And with what little remains of my faith or finances or company I just hold on. I know I will get through it because I've been through worse. I continue to repeat your Word and rather than having the option to believe I see nothing else. 

Don't we usually resort to prayer when we are at that point of despair? When all resources have been exhausted, and all telephone conversations have been used up, is when we often find ourselves on our knees. 

Forgive me for not coming to you first, and in a time of need. I do not have a list of wishes or demands, but simply that your presence be known during this time. Your grace upon the situation and give me the faith to know that you will pull through as you have before. 

How easily forgotten are those times. 

I am deathfully afraid and proud. I am barely intact but boldly composed and with what little remains I choose to write it rather than share.