For you, for me

I want to let you know if you're out there and reading this, but maybe more for myself because I know it's out there now, that I'm letting you go. I'm loosening my grasp on it and I'm letting us go. I thought that I had done this already, but I had a lot of bitter emotions tied to it then.

"Was there someone else? There had to be.."

"Why?"

"Was it me? was I too much, or perhaps not enough?"

"What?..."

"What just happened?"

"How?"

"@#$5!!!!"

";["

"I regret it"

"I hate you, but more I hate me"

"Wow.."

"Awesome..." (obviously sarcasm here)

Yes, and then some. So, I thought I was doing a good job, then I crashed and I pretty much hit rock bottom where I just let it out, which really was less dramatic than what you might think. It just consisted of me in the shower and scratching deep down my face just so I could feel something else in that moment, you know, no biggie. But you know what they say about hitting bottom, there's no other way but up. So, I think I'm on that route, you know, up. Although, that would consist of me possibly going down again..(wouldn't be me, if I didn't think of this part, you know) Anyway, I don't know what's there out there for me, just taking a leap of faith. Nothing changing, but just my perspectives.

I genuinely wish you all the best and I hope I don't see you. 



Just a Bon Iver kind of day...