It's sometimes a lot easier to not let anyone see your insides. I mean when you're dressed and you're hair's styled and you got that smile you've mastered on your face things are easier. It gets harder when they come over and see your room or catch you on a Friday evening in your pjs after not shaving for a couple of days. Things get awkward because you've gotten comfortable but that was assumed and not mutual. Then it gets ugly because you sit there being the worse critic you could be to yourself and wonder how you got so fooled to be here in the first place. Of course, this is before the struggle you have of telling yourself you could clean up and make something of yourself, but failing more than once to be motivated to. So yea, it's easier to see the outside because the inside is really a bunch of chaos, self-pity and all kinds of rubbish.
I'm becoming to wonder how to make of all of this, Quincy. I am beginning to feel utterly foolish.
No comments:
Post a Comment