mute

I know I said I would turn in early today, but thoughts and emotions are so fleeting...I would like to remember that there was a moment where I thought about you and felt this way.

There are dips in my life where sometimes the independent wants to be dependent; the control yearns for the unpredictable; the predictable seeks faith; where the forgotten wants the memory; where the strong becomes ordinary and the lonely needs the someone.

It's the sighing superhero shedding his armor when he retreats back to his chamber; it's the father coming home and taking off his shoes to rub his sore feet.

I would have liked you here today by me, in silence, just your presence. I wanted to go back to when our rendezvous didn't require a dinner for conversation. I wanted it to be simple today, without an agenda. I thought about how nice it would have been to just go for a walk hand in hand and talk; or not. I could have talked, like I always do, but this time it would have been different because you would have been there to just listen. I would have sat down and picked at the grass like I always do, but it wouldn't have been the same today for I would have leaned on your shoulder as I was doing it. I would have made random comments and ramblings of my mind and contemplations of the world like I always do, but it would have been different today because you would have been present to listen to it all. You could be mute for all I care, I just missed you today. You're missing out on what I have to say, and I can't promise that it will all be there when we see each other again.