Excuse me

Excuse me for being so selfish. I realize that the world doesn't revolve around me, not that many people read these posts anyway.

Today marks the first completed week of Lent. Rides without music is something that I can get used to. It makes me see things, things I haven't noticed before. It makes me think of things, things that I have avoided for a long time.

Yesterday was hard. I got down on my knees and prayed. I haven't done that in a long time. I talked to Him about how little faith I had. I know that He is able to do great thing, miraculous things. I know He exists and I can only imagine the magnitude of his power, but I have so little faith. I have so little faith for myself, in that all those things can and are able to happen to me. I have lost faith, so what am I holding onto? The possibility of it; hope. I know who He is and I know what he is capable of. I've heard things and read things. I've been told about what He is able to do, so I want to wait it out. I don't know if you can call that faith, but I can't say that it is. I also talked to Him about how helpless I am. I feel so helpless these days. I feel like there's nothing I can do for what's going here and out there. I told Him.

I want to see your glory. I've seen you work through others and now I want you to work through me. I see that you have placed things and people in my life. I don't know what to do, or how to handle it. I have no directions and I ask for your guide. I know that with my own will and power I can not accomplish anything, but through you and your strength I am able. For this season I want to be overwhelmed by your love. I want to be consumed by your passion and I want you to mold me into something durable. I surrender all of it. Show me what to do next. I have opened my eyes and have seen, so what do I do now? What can I do?