Creeper

Today I spent majority of the time looking at this screen. Grandma came over today and we swept the leaves in the front yard together and she slipped me some money. We took a polaroid to capture the nice day. Mum asked why I'm so awkward around him, and I said because we didn't have much to talk about.

I want human interactions sometimes. I want to plop down and tell someone my life story. It was like that back in the day. Kids don't care who you are, if you lend a ear they'll tell you everything. I guess I ain't no kid anymore. I sit here sometimes and think about things. I cry when I think about some things sometimes. I cry because I am helpless and it's the only thing I can do. I am desperate and longing. I know I don't walk this earth alone, but sometimes it sure feels that way.

It's sad that we all drift apart someday. Eventually people will become memories; eventually becoming disconnected from reality. It's all sad.

My eyes hurt because I have too much time.

How come you don't call? When I talk to you I want to tell you everything. I try really hard to keep the quivers in my voice steady. It's hard to tell you everything. I hope you don't think I call only when I need something. I want to think that the reason you don't is because you have too much to say, but nothing to tell me. I am going to believe it is because you love me too much, and not too little. I am going to believe that even though there is no exchange of words, we both understand each other. I want to believe that you're hurting too. Because I can't possibly think it is because you have forgotten me. I want you to know that I see you in a different light. I want you to know that I see truth in your words. I love you and I hope you are doing well, wherever you are. I would like to hear from you soon.