to your own standard

I've been finding myself comparing a lot these days.

I wish I could go to Paris too.

You looked nice in that new dress.

It must be nice to have your own place.

So, you got into that program huh?

Oh, you work there now?

Good for you.

Nothing good comes out of comparing because the way I do it it's not constructive nor motivational. Instead I look outward and then inward at my own life and I begin to see all the negatives and the lack. I know I have a lot. But why is it that it's so hard to be content? Why do we have a constant yearning for more, but not of the right one? I see everyone moving towards one thing or another I feel anchored. I'm moving too right? Someone else is looking at me and saying "Oh, cool she's doing that now" right?

All you can do is compare to yourself. Compare how much you've progressed and hold yourself to your own standard. Sometimes, that's worse. Knowing how long you've been stuck at one place for not growing.

Forgive me for forgetting who I am and how much You have blessed me. Forgive me for wanting a pass, some stability, acceptance to a school, the job, the affirmation. I know that it is already given. Forgive me for I have so little faith and have forgotten Your power. I know that all these things I seek I can find in you. I know that in you is contentment, security, and company. Help me to lean on you more for my fulfillment.

Words I came across today: accosted, redeem, reconcile, percolated, indispose