It seems like the world has moved on and beyond me and I feel like I've grown, but not with it. How is it that I can blend in and incorporate myself again?
I always liked moving. Of course, it was a pain to pack and say goodbyes and adjust to new routines, but in general I liked the change of scenery and the idea of a fresh start: choosing how and who you wanted to be in a new setting. It has definitely attributed to the knowledge and outlook I have now. I guess in a way though, it has taken it's toil. At first it was great to know people from different places (a great way to crash when visiting). It was nice to take breaks when you could to visit them and step away from the current routine. Slowly after a couple of years, you lose touch and talking about purposeful visits become awkward. Eventually it leads to letting them know you're in town for something else.
You can say the same about growing. Growing like moving takes you to new places and blank canvas. There you begin to paint the picture of yourself and create the image you will most likely be until it is time for you to move on.
After doing this several times, I landed here; confused. I am this and sort of this, I could be that and wish I was more of this. I am this, but not this. I have learned to like that and contradict this. I adapted to you and have lost myself.
Sometimes I wish I had stayed in one spot, in the same scenery, with the same people, talking about memories built upon over the years.
I have chosen the path that I am on now and know where this will all lead. I must find a way to find happiness in it.
Much to do for this week, but little time. I guess when you're up this late you find time for things.
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